Being a wife is harder than being a mom…….

I remember having a conversation with a girlfriend of mine a month or so before I got married, and she asked me which I thought would be harder being a mom or being a wife? At the time I thought being a mom would be harder because, well being a mom is hard and every day brings a new challenge but after being married now and experiencing the reality of marriage, I would like to change my answer and say being a wife is definitely harder than being a mom lol.

Don’t get me wrong being a mom has an abundance of challenges, but it’s a different challenge and with each change you get this sense of relief. When I first got married to my husband, our first few months together was rough and extremely challenging. I had days where I would question myself if I made the right decision, did I not listen properly to God and maybe this wasn’t the person he had ordained for my life. The infamous honeymoon phase that everyone speaks of and so badly wants we didn’t have that, and because of the world we live in where everyone shows you their highlight reel and shares the beautiful parts of their marriage, I believed something was wrong with my marriage and that it just wouldn’t work out. The reality is marriages are different, the way everyone loves and shows love is different and I have learnt that I just can’t compare my marriage to everyone’s.

As a wife I have had to learn to love my husband the way he wants not just the way I know how to and the thing about being married to an adult they get to tell you if you are doing it wrong, unlike a child where you get to love and teach them the things you know and 9 times out of 10 they will still love you the same and accept you the same. It’s a whole new level of vulnerability being a mom, you get to be vulnerable but with being a mom there is a sense of relief with every milestone your child hits. But with being a wife there isn’t really a way to know you are doing things right, you hope and pray with every move you make you are doing things right and that each choice is in the right direction to making your marriage better. Coming from a long-distance relationship to marriage, the reality of being a wife hit me differently. I have always had this idea of being miss independent and even till today I find it very hard to ask for help. Well in marriage I have learnt that asking for help doesn’t make you any less than or make you weaker. In a partnership (which is what marriage is) you are going to need your partner’s support more times than ever, and its ok to ask for help and if you are with the right type of partner they will want to give you a helping hand and support you through it all.

Marriage is hard but the wonderful thing I have learnt, and I think what has really helped my marriage and made me be a better wife, is remembering who I fell in love with, knowing the person I married and I know he loves me back just as much. Our life and marriage is not perfect, but that is fine because we have to do it our way and not the way Instagram shows it,  and guess what our way works for our marriage. Relationships are so hard these days, and there are so many opinions out there about the way people choose their life but just one thing I want to leave with you all is, you only succeed with how much work you put into something. Its not easy but the rewards far outweigh it all. but, in knowing that we are both on this journey together cheering each other on and learning from each other. Most importantly learning how to love and care for each other in our way not the way society says it should be or how