Your Post baby body can never go back to what it was before children, no matter how in shape you are there are changes that will forever be a part of you whether that be the new stretch marks you are are spotting now, or that oh so wonderful mommy pooch or those sexy new curves that comes with that beautiful new baby. Whatever it is that you are spotting now, as women especially as mother’s this is something society needs to talk about and help us to understand and own it.
So many mother’s after having a baby are feeling the rush and a lot of times the unspoken pressure to have “the snap-back”, the idea that you are suppose to birth a child that can range from 6 to 10 pounds at full term, and by the following month you need to be “snatched” and back to having wash board abs is just a very crazy ideology that I believe society needs to do away with.
I would like to instead gear the conversation to a mother’s mental health after baby, too many women have babies and not a lot of people are asking her how she is doing. No I am not talking about how the baby is fed or how she is getting sleep. No I am talking about checking on her, having conversations with new moms and sometimes old moms as well cause lets be honest a woman could have kids for 5 or 6 years and still dealing the residues of that reality and adjusting to each phase that comes along.
We need to focus more on helping mothers not only feel confident in their body, but in their new normal. I can’t tell you how many times I have skipped out on going to a restaurant because of the fear of being judged when my toddler decides to have an uncalled for tantrum. I know I was once one of those judgy eyes, but that is in part to the narrative society has set around kids. The minute you see a mother with a little child, everyone wants to run far away. People see a mother with a screaming baby in tow walking through an airport and very rarely does someone stop to assist. I would love if the narrative focused on building communities around moms, supporting them and checking on them.
Life as a mom especially as a young mom who has a lot on her plate can be daunting, mother’s need to feel good, need to be able to focus on the blessings that this new chapter will bring about. And rather than focusing on the physical things like their body and wanting to set these sometimes unrealistic goals to achieve the “snap-back” by hurrying back in the gym, society needs to really shift the narrative to making sure mom are doing good, they are feeling confident about this new role and most importantly they have the right resources and support system in place.
Hey Tola, it's been ages I read your blog! I'm quite particular about this topic and it's one that I've had the most challenge with too. I believe that no mother should ever feel or put themselves under any post-baby-snapback pressure. In the first instance, our mental health is most important because that's what determines how well you can care for your little bundle/s of joy. So, that should be our 1st priority and our societies should be supporting these either alongside body-snapbacks or on its own. Everyone around the WOMAN is responsible for this care and there are so many ways to this. The snapbacks are also a challenge some mothers actually give themselves as it aids their self esteem. It's really down to individuals. However, for the overall good of the family as a whole I think that a mothers health should take centre stage in every expectation either herself or the society places. It is key to a fulfilled life, regardless.